Ah, the holidays. Sinatra sang, It’s the most wonderful time of the year. And for many, it is. It is a time to reflect with joy, to give gifts with cheer, and to celebrate with family and friends,
For others, however, the holidays can serve as a glaring reminder of the dysfunction in our lives. In the place of glad tidings, some of us find ourselves ensnared by bouts of depression and hopelessness, which in certain cases has been made worse by the current economic landscape. For a growing number, this season can inflame an increasingly common issue in our culture: addiction.
It is a problem which has reached epic proportions. Everywhere we turn, someone is battling a deadly habit. Addiction has infiltrated all aspects of culture, from the media and music to sports, from Mel Gibson to Tiger Woods. Television shows like Intervention and Celebrity Rehab have become popular fare. And for every Robert Downey, Jr. there is an Amy Winehouse, a Michael Jackson, or a Kurt Cobain.
Addiction is not just a problem for the famous, however. There are over seven million drug and alcohol addicts in the US at present, according to the US Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. And recently, the medical establishment has expanded the term “addict” to include any compulsive behavior—not just substance abuse. Culture as a whole has embraced this expanded definition as well. This means that individuals can be labeled addicts if they overindulge in sex, if they drink too much coffee, or even if they play too much XBOX.
We are a society which has become defined by our vices, and by the term “addiction” itself.
The problem has even infiltrated the walls of the church. As a professional musician, author, and speaker who has traversed Christian culture extensively, I have encountered hundreds of “believing addicts.” The leading Christian addiction recovery program—Celebrate Recovery-boasts nearly a million members. With numbers such as these, it is obvious that evangelicals are following the trends of the secular mainstream.
Subsequently, there are millions in treatment and recovery programs. The walls of AA, NA and Celebrate Recovery are bursting with those desperately fighting to end the cycle. Steps are worked and meetings are attended, yet relapse abounds. And here is a staggering fact: Most recovery programs have a success rate of less than twenty-five percent.
Having witnessed so many caught in the cycle of attempted recovery and tragic relapse, I can’t help but wonder if our culture-and more specifically the church-is missing something important in all of this.
Is addiction a disease that afflicts certain unlucky people, or is it a symptom of something greater that occurs in every human soul? And should the goal of recovery be to simply eliminate destructive habits, or should the end be something deeper?
Jesus taught that humans are born incomplete, with an emptiness that is a consequence of living in a world that is imperfect, painful, and sinful. Therefore life, for each of us, is an attempt to fill this void; We are each “coping,” in a sense, with living a broken existence, separated from God by evil—both around us and inside of us. We each cope in our own way: some with benign outlets such as working, studying, family, or creativity, and others with more self-destructive activities such as alcohol abuse or compulsive gambling.
But Jesus proclaimed there is no way to quench the thirst inside us for peace, no way to properly “cope” with living this broken existence but one:
Knowing Him.
Perhaps an incomplete diagnosis of the problem has left us emphasizing the symptoms. Perhaps labeling those caught in a destructive cycle as addicts neglects the fact that we all have the same need: to find our soul’s satisfaction in God alone. And maybe this has made recovery more difficult in the process.
C.S. Lewis wrote, “If we find ourselves with a desire that nothing in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that we were made for another world.”
Perhaps addiction, then, in light of this, is a symptom of every person’s need for spiritual renewal. Maybe recovery, then, is more than just the elimination of our deadly habits, but the reconciliation of our souls with our creator. In this sense, perhaps we are all addicts in need of recovery, afflicted with the disease of sin. And if so, we must look at the prevalence of addiction in our culture as a signpost for the spiritual bankruptcy of our society, the need for a return to faith.
If you find yourself feeling empty, depressed, or alone this holiday season, perhaps instead of running from those emotions, it is time to sit in them. If your wounds are reopened at the sound of carols or the smell of pine, instead of running to your deadly habits, listen to the cry of your heart.
The fact that there is a void inside should remind us why the holiday exists. It is a celebration of His entrance into our world, of His desire to bring us back to Him, and most importantly, of His desire to heal our pain and make us whole again.
And in this realization, it is possible that true, lasting recovery can be found.
December 20, 2011 · Pop Culture, Spiritual Living · 10 Comments
I have decided to contribute to the ongoing cultural debate that has spanned centuries and will probably never cease. The debate is over the answer to this question:
What makes a real man?
I think the answer is more simple than one would imagine, and I am more than thrilled to tell you I have discovered it. But before I reveal this groundbreaking, earth-shattering breakthrough, I want begin looking at the answer to the question by asking a few of my own.
First, is a man made by his courage?
You know, that whole “This is Sparta” thing. Some would say so. Many, in fact. I, for one, think courage is overrated. Consider the apostle Peter. If he hadn’t been such a coward he never would have been such a shining example of restoration. And I think Peter was quite a man…fisherman, ear-cutter-offer, etc. I don’t really think any man has courage when it comes down to it. Don’t believe me? Put any husband in a situation where he is being called out by his wife for (fill in the blank…forgetting to take out the trash, glancing at the TV during a Victoria’s Secret ad) and watch him squirm like a sniveling, pathetic six-year-old.
Then, is a man defined by his strength?
But what is strength? Being chiseled and yoked? Or is it an inner thing–like doing the right thing in a situation when it is difficult to do so? I saw this girl at the gym doing squats the other day and I think she had like thirteen huge plates on each side of the weight bar. I looked at her upper legs and realized you could fit three of my entire body in one of them. I used the mirrors in the gym for several minutes to get a view of this person from every angle and I did indeed confirm that she was female. I then feared for my life, because I think she caught me doing this “research.” I exited to the “men’s locker room” ironically enough. No, muscles do not make the man. Inner strength, then? It does take inner strength to be an adult male. Like when I am at a stoplight and the person behind me honks and instead of hitting the gas I stay on the brakes until the light turns yellow, then watch the guy’s expression as he has to wait for the next green at the light behind me as I zoom through the intersection. It takes great inner strength to have discipline to do that. It also takes great strength to find your way to your destination when you are lost without asking a single solitary human soul, just to show your female companion that no, you are not lost, but taking a “short cut.”
What about honor?
To me, this is synonymous with integrity. It means being the same person in public as in private. I look at Peter Parker and Clark Kent as my shining examples of this concept. If these guys didn’t have skeletons they wouldn’t be super heroes. Not that I am saying leading a double life is good. It isn’t. But every guy has secrets. That’s why we need a cave. Not all secrets are bad by the way. But whose business is it really that my #1 favorite cavetime activity is playing World of Warcraft. I am now going to go ahead and equip my “Epic Axe. “ And a little “Four Wheels of Fury.”
What about intelligence?
Have you ever seen Sixteen Candles? Of course you have. You know John Cusack’s sidekick, Wheeze? Boy was he smart. Though most would not consider him A man I would consider him THE man simply because he is my favorite John Hughes character and his name is WHEEZE. That is the most bitchin’’ name ever.
Is a man defined by the size of his truck tires?
Um…no. He is not. Chances are the guy with the big truck also was also the guy in elementary school that promised you a knuckle sandwich if you did not hand over your Snack Pack. But then again I am probably being judgmental. You may have a big truck and be a swell guy. But maybe, just maybe, you are overcompensating for something. Or maybe you just enjoy making others plummet nine feet to the ground as they exit your vehicle, thus causing severe injury. I, for one, drive a small shifter car and can still beat you up very badly, big truck guy.
So what about conquests? Surely a man is a man when he boasts of successful heists while carrying on his back the carcass of dead creatures slain by his own hand while dragging his maiden behind him home to roast his hunting prize.
My dad will have my hide for saying this because he raised me to be a hunter. For some reason when I was twelve years old (sitting in the woods in subzero temperatures staring down the scope of my high powered rifle at that fuzzy, defenseless deer that I could have very easily taken home as a pet) hunting was not my idea of a good time. Killing cute, cuddly things, whether in actuality or metaphorically in reference to locker room talk, does not strike me in any way to be representative of true maledom. Yes, I still shot the deer. And I retired from the sport shortly after I dragged the steaming carcass out of the woods and bragged to all my friends about it.
OK, so, none of the above makes a real man, in my opinion.
So what does?
I am now going to tell you, and you are going to be shocked at how much this makes sense.
IF YOU CRY FOR GREAT MOMENTS IN SPORTS YOU ARE A REAL MAN.
That’s it.
That is, if you cry ONLY for great moments in sports. In any other situation, though, you have to possess the emotional vulnerability of petrified forest to be a true representative of the male species. You cannot even feel the tiniest tug on your heart for anything else. This includes tender moments with females, your children, or Rachel McAdams films. You cannot show the faintest glint of breaking character even when songs like “Wild Horses” (by the Sundays not the Stones) are played around you. There is no reason to shed a tear in any–and I mean any–of life’s circumstances. Except one:
And here is the litmus test. I want you to watch the following three things. If you cry after these you are male. If you do not, you are female:
1. Go to Youtube and type in “Autistic Basketball Player.”
2. Watch any Michael Jordan DVD
3. Find a replay of the 1987 college football game between Boston College and Miami when Doug Flutie threw a touchdown pass to Gerard Phelan with no time on the clock to win the game. I saw this live on Tv when I was just a kid and I swear it changed my life.
I would also like to add that when I found out James Harrison was voted team MVP of the Steelers this past year I was brought to tears. The guy is 29 years old and was never given the opportunity to start before this past season. He was cut from like four different NFL teams and is only 5’ 10” tall–tiny for a linebacker. He has been told he was too slow and too small his entire career. Yet, he had 3.5 sacks, 3 forced fumbles, one interception, and one recovered fumble against the Baltimore Ravens IN ONE GAME ALONE. And his nickname is “Silverback” (like the gorilla).
Talk about a man.
March 12, 2010 · Other, Pop Culture, Sports · 5 Comments
