I was watching one of my all-time favorite films the other day (High Fidelity) and there was a scene that hit me hard.* It was the scene when, in the midst of his life spiraling into chaos, the main protagonist decides to reorganize his record collection.
Rob (played by John Cusack), having just broken up with his longtime girlfriend, begins to put these thousands of vinyl records not in alphabetical or chronological order, but in autobiographical order. When asked by one of his friends why he was doing this, he simply replied because it was…comforting.
I pushed stop on the film immediately. For some reason, the idea of reorganizing my music did sound very comforting to me at that moment. Not because my life was in any way chaotic, or anything remotely tragic had happened, but, to be honest, I wanted to take on this project because I was…bored.
So I started taking cds off the shelves in my office and going through each one, updating my digital archive in iTunes. And as I did, something curious began to happen…
Now, before I go further I need to tell you a few things about my music collecting philosophy. First, I am not the typical music snob that acquires records just because someone tells me this band or that record is cool to own. In my opinion those types are not music fans, but people who like using music a means to sound intelligent and elitist. No, I am the type of music snob that only listens to music that I connect with deeply. I am what you would call an emotional music purist. I like what I like, and I have an intense personal connection with the music I choose to acquire. I prefer quality over quantity. What this means is that not only do I have a more difficult time finding music I love than most people, but I have a smaller collection because of it.
This also means I am prone to having droughts where I do not find records I love for weeks, or even months, at a time. And this particular chapter in my life has been one of the most dry yet. Perhaps my subconscious was pushing me to the great music reorganization of 2010 for this reason.
Now, if you know anything about me you know that I don’t do many things half-way. If I am into something I am really into it. And if I decide I am passionate about an activity I give it my all, or I don’t do it at all.
My wife calls this obsession.
I call it being awesome.
So, naturally, about three hours into my reorganization, I began shutting myself off from the rest of the natural world. I quickly forgot about things like food, water, and human contact in my catharsis. Stacks of cds surrounded me in all directions as my mind raced and catalogued. I was creating a master digital archive on my external hard drive so that in the event of loss, crash, or natural disaster I would have all of my music backed up…every last song, every last note. The more seconds passed, the more I became consumed and convinced that I was partaking on a mission of utmost significance.
It was about this time my wife asked me if I was feeling ok. Apparently, she had been trying to speak to me for the better part of an hour and I had been ignoring her. I just looked at her like she, not I, was the one who was nuts. Frustrated and confused, she asked me a second question–one that proved to be profound:
“Why are you doing this?” she asked.
I didn’t have an answer immediately. I didn’t say anything, in fact. Instead, I just kept pouring myself completely into the task before me. So she left me to my compulsion. But her words kept playing in my head.
Why AM I doing this?
That was when I found a dusty cd on the shelf that I had neither listened to nor glanced at for years, Aimee Mann’s Lost In Space. The packaging is unbelievable. And the lyrics are astounding. How had I forgotten about this one? Then I found Super Black Market Clash. It has deep cuts from my favorite band of all time, and stories behind the songs in the liner notes. Stoked!
And then the flood gates opened. I began rediscovering tons of music–genius music–that I had not delved into for ages. My reorganization quickly evolved into a listening party, a celebration of all these great creations that had been sitting next to me for years, collecting dust. It was beautiful. It was inspiring. And it was highly educational.
I felt more alive, more in love with music than I had been for as long as I can remember.
But then, all of a sudden, I heard a still, small voice in my head, speaking to me about a more profound truth:
Sometimes the key to passion doesn’t lie in finding new truths but in reminders of old ones.
And somehow the trivial activity before me had become a spiritual metaphor.
Do you ever feel bored and stale spiritually? Of course you do. We all do. Many of you reading this probably feel that way at this very moment.
Many times we think the solution to the dryness is usually to inject some sort of “new” into our routine–a Rob Bell book purchase, a visit to that happening church every one is talking about, a new small group, or a ticket to a men’s retreat. We are convinced that the key to keeping our passion alive is to continually ensure that there is enough fresh, contemporary spiritual stimuli flowing through the veins of our souls.
But rediscovering my old Clash and Quicksand records taught me something: Many times we think we need something brand new to re-awaken our first love, when perhaps all we need is a reminder. Maybe we just need to stop forgetting what we already know to be true.
Dear friends, I am not writing you a new command but an old one, which you have had since the beginning. This old command is the message you have heard. – 1 John 2:7
So, here are a few reminders that will bring life to you if you are feeling dead:
*God’s love is unconditional, and his forgiveness is larger than any crime you have ever committed.
*If you will stand up for Him before men, Jesus will stand of up for you before the father in heaven.
*Eternal life is real and available at this moment.
*The past is dead, but you are alive in faith.
*There is no greater peace to be found in life than intimacy with your creator.
I am not yet finished with my record reorganization, so I am going to get back to it. I just wanted to take a little break and give you a blog…
Do you feel just a little more alive now?
*Incidentally, as good as this movie is, the book is many times better. I guess this is true for most films based on books. But trust me, this is one book you must read, if you even remotely enjoyed the flick. Just my opinion.
May 10, 2010 · Music, Other, Spiritual Living · 14 Comments
“A faithful friend is the medicine of life.” ~ Apocrypha
I had this friend in high school who I spent a good deal of time with named Phil. Phil was a fun dude. We laughed constantly, and I enjoyed being around him because I could always count on this guy to say something that would make me feel good about myself. He was a very positive, upbeat guy that most people seemed to gravitate toward. He became one of my best friends.
During this time I had a girlfriend, and the three of us spent time hanging out on a regular basis. We became a unit. We studied together, got together at one another’s houses, met up to watch movies together. For a brief period we were inseparable.
But after a few months of dating I began to have second thoughts about the relationship with my girlfriend. So naturally, I approached Phil for advice.
Strangely, he was very adament that I break up with her. Out of the blue, he began to spout negative comments about this girl, someone whom he had nothing but praise for previously. I had never heard him speak this way about anyone prior to this, so it was a little unnerving. But because he was someone I trusted, I put a good deal of stock in his advice. And after thinking about it on my own, getting additional advice, and praying about it, I felt like the best conclusion was to end things with the girl. So, I broke up with her.
I stopped spending time with her immediately, focusing more on school and the other things in my life that were important to me. I busied myself for distraction’s sake, but getting past the hurt was hard. Curiously, though, my friend Phil began spending less and less time with me. I began to feel confused and frustrated as to why my best friend was nowhere to be found in my time of greatest need.
Until one day, while I was strolling across campus after class, I stumbled upon a scene that floored me. There was Phil, nuzzled next to my ex in a shady corner of campus! I stopped for a second, staring, rubbing my eyes in disbelief like a cartoon character.
Seriously? Had I just been the victim of a swindle? Yup, I sure had. And I fell for it!
I felt like Lloyd Christmas must have felt when he was robbed by the old lady on the motorized cart in Dumb and Dumber. I felt like the detectives must have felt at the end of Usual Suspects.
Phil was not Verbal Kint. He was Kaiser Soze! The devil in the flesh!!
And I didn’t even see it coming! (in Jim Carrey Voice)
No, I didn’t knock Phil out (but I probably should have). And I didn’t torch my ex-girlfriends house (though I contemplated it). I just walked home, scratching my head, wishing I had known better…
Have you ever been betrayed by someone who claimed to be your best friend? I would be surprised if there is anyone who reads this who hasn’t. And I would say that there aren’t many things in this world that most of us loathe more than a fake friend. Why? Because there is something about being double-crossed that makes us feel violated in the core of our beings.
Yet, for as much as we hate being betrayed, it is a very common thing. In fact, I would go as far as to say that it is one guaranteed part of being alive; at some point, each of us is going to be sold out by the person we least expect. And most times, will not see it coming, even though it may have been obvious to everyone else around us.
So why are we fooled?
Because sometimes we see what we want to see in other people, rather than looking on them with objective eyes. Because we all long to find someone whom we can share ourselves with. But in our search for comrades, often times we trust those who don’t deserve to be trusted in the hopes that we have found someone special. Then we are shocked when we are wounded by them.
But is it possible to know how to discern your true friends from the false ones before something bad happens? Is it possible to save ourselves the deep wounds and heartaches that come from unsuspected betrayal?
Yes!
Check out these verses as a starting point. These are some of my favorite in the Bible:
An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips. Pvb. 24:26
Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Prv. 27:6
Let us not love with word tongue, but with action and truth. 1 John 3:18
And from these verses, along with plenty of experience, I have developed a test to discern who your real friends truly are. I call it Cutting to the Heart of Unseen Motives, or CHUM test. Here it is:
1. Compare the person’s actions vs. their words. If someone says they care about you, but their actions are always saying they don’t, then go with their actions as the true indicator of someone’s feelings toward you. This includes people who say they are going to hang out or call, but usually flake. They bail because it’s not a priority to them.
2. Does the person in question always tell you what you want to hear? If they are always pleasing, chances are they are not always honest with you. Beware of passive people who avoid conflict. When the chips are down, they will run for the hills! A good rule of thumb: if someone has the courage to risk your defenses in order to tell you something that you need (but don’t want to) hear, they are probably someone who you can trust.
3. What is your gut telling you? Does the person make you feel anxious, or at ease? Trustworthy people are almost always obviously so. If you are confused about a person’s intentions or debating their loyalty, the fact that you have to question this at all is usually an answer in and of itself. Follow your instincts!
4. Is the person there for you when you need them? When the waters get rough do they stick around? No matter the excuse, there is no excuse. You have to be there if you say you care.
5. Party friends are usually fake friends. I don’t know why this is…probably because drinking, hooking up, the bar scene and other related, shady activities often involve some sort of breach of character. But I can’t tell you how many times this has been illustrated to me: If you are connected to someone through the bar/party scene, they will usually show that they are not someone to invest in outside of that context. There are exceptions, but they are rare.
6. Know the difference between an acquaintance and a friend. The former is someone who is fun to hang out with, but not worth telling your secrets to. The latter is someone who you can confide in about your vices, worst mistakes, and fears. The former is someone to meet up for coffee and discuss the latest Gorillaz release with or an Independent film. The latter is someone you ask to be your best man. In my experience, most people end up being acquaintances. True friends are rare. Don’t try to force square pegs into round holes.
7. Does the person share your secrets when you ask them not to? Then they aren’t your real friend.
8. Your special lady/guy friend is still a friend first and foremost! Just because your vision becomes muddled with the strong emotions of attraction, does not mean this test does not apply to them. Are you making exceptions for the person just because you have feelings for them? They should pass the CHUM test as well if they truly are a keeper.
9. True friends will always at least try to see your point of view, even if they don’t agree. They may not always agree with you, but they will listen. If you find that the person in question always steamrolls your feelings and opinions, then that is a red flag. Confront them on it. If they respond by listening then that shows good character. But if they try to turn it around on you and do not listen, then perhaps its time to reevaluate the nature of your association.
10. When all else fails, and you want to find out where you stand with someone, place a huge piece of spinach in your teeth upon greeting said person. If they point out the spinach, then they are most likely trustworthy. But if they don’t, then they will probably tell someone else about it and have a laugh at your expense! I kid, but you would be surprised how little details paint the picture of a person’s character. The small things that people do can tell you a lot about where they are coming from.
Finally, God gave us each discernment. Usually, if there is someone in our lives who is using us or does not have our best interests in mind, it will become apparent as long as we keep our eyes are open. And if you feel like you have extended trust to someone who does not deserve it, then put the brakes on! It’s better to err on the side of caution in relationships. If the person in question is genuine they will understand.
People show you who they really are if just pay attention. And when someone shows you their true character, believe them!
The Bible says this: Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
Again, be careful with your associations. They will define you. And if you are not careful, they can burn you. Choose wisely who you confide in and who you trust. Know that there are countless numbers of people out there who are out for their own interests, but those with dependable character are difficult to find.
Do you have questions about a current relationship? Have you been burned? Do you have something to add to this discussion? Post your comments below.
In Part 2 We will discuss how to recover from the wounds of betrayal.
April 14, 2010 · Other · 14 Comments
Think back to the first time you heard your favorite band.
Remember where you were. Think back to the smells, the colors of your surroundings. Recall the feelings it conjured up, the chills on the back of your neck, running all the way down your spine. Revisit how the melody, the guitar lines, the beats infiltrated your entire being. And finally, recapture what the words meant to you, how they completed and colored the emotional picture the music traced in your heart.
The sound, the words came together to connect with you. It was first love.
And soon after this first listen, this music became a soundtrack to vivid memories. You sang along in your room, in your car, in the shower, wailing with all your voice into the universe. Those songs acompanied you to school dances, sporting events, the beginning (and sometimes the ending) of relationships, weekend parties with friends.
It was passionate, this love you had discovered. And it was from the depths of you that this music spoke in, for, and through you. It changed you. It shaped you. It was a part of you. And it touched places inside of you that were deeper than you knew existed.
Listening to music is, was, and forever shall be..spiritual. It is more than just sound. It is a part of your soul.
And it is for me, too.
When I recall the first time I heard my favorite bands, I have specific emotions attached to specific memories as well, and they take me to a warm place that always brings a smile to my face.
I frequently tell people that loving music isn’t something I do, it’s something that I am.
But I know I am not the only one who would describe my relationship with sound this way…
All of us have this mythical connection to it.
Have you ever met someone who doesn’t love music? Probably not. It is a universal language. It transcends cultural differences, language barriers, and stereotypes. It is perhaps the most powerful medium that exists. It goes beyond the physical realm into the metaphysical. It has the power to transform nations and pierce the most hardened of hearts. At its best, it can heal, inspire, and conjure up the miraculous.
But have you ever wondered why music is such a powerful, universal medium? Have you ever wondered why we love it so much, why we are so drawn to both listening to it and creating it?
It is because we were made to hear, sing, and make music.
God created us for worship.
Just think about this the next time you are bobbing your head to your favorite song in your car, your room, or your kitchen. Think about this the next time you are listening to your iPod while you vacuum or run at the gym. Think about that the next time you just have to sing along to that amazing song you hear on the radio. And think about it the next time you are fooling around with Garageband or playing your chosen instrument or performing with your band.
You were created to make music. We all were.
And every time a note comes out of your mouth, out of your soul, you are displaying evidence that God made you. Every time you appreciate a song you hear, you are displaying the thumbprint of a creator. And this creator enjoys music, too. So much so, that he wants to hear it coming from us forever. He is the inventor of music itself.
And therefore, music itself is a gift to be celebrated.
I reflect on this because I so easily forget the reason why I do what I do. I so easily fall into the trappings of an industry (and a culture) that has reduced songs to mere products to be bought and sold. I so often forget that the value of this gift that has been placed in each of us.
When I was teenager, it was music that brought me through my most dark, lonely, and angry times. As a college student, it was being a music fan first that gave me the inspiration to make my own. And as an artist, it is listening to music that pushes to me to continue creating. And it is music, as an adult, that gives my life purpose while putting food on my table.
And while some would like to make us think that music is simply an ornament for our entertainment, our hearts tell us otherwise. We listen, sing, and create because it is a link between ourselves and the almighty.
I make and love music because it is in my soul to do so. And so do you.
It is a pointer to heaven, an evidence that we were created to worship forever.
Now go, make sounds that echo into eternity…
My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul. Psalm 108:1
For added reading:
http://www.lightbridgemusic.com/power.htm
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/05/11/music.heart/index.html
April 1, 2010 · Music · 28 Comments
Touring with a band can cut your life expectancy short by staggering percentages. But it isn’t the lack of sleep, dangerous overnight drives, or the mystery stains on hotel comforters that will do you in.
No, touring will kill you slowly and mercilessly by a much more covert means:
Death by lethal (fast food) ingestion.
Alas, in rushing from city to city to make load-in times (along with trying to steal every last second of much-needed sleep) dietary concerns inevitably take a back seat. And meal choices are usually dictated by which chain restaurants are offered near truckstops/gas stations along the highway to your next show.
I have eaten countless McNuggets, Whoppers, and Frosties over the last fourteen years.
But recently I have started changing my ways.
For reasons I will explain in a moment, I have begun to take my food choices a bit more seriously. And for that reason, finding eats on the road has become trench warfare.
Today we were running late to a show in Indiana, outside Indianapolis. There really weren’t many options for food along the way, of course, yet the entire band was starving for lunch. So, we stopped at the only “restaurant” for miles – KFC.
I put the word “restaurant” in quotes because, in case you didn’t know, KFC stands for KNIFING FORCEFULLY at your COLON.
Anyway, while were waiting in line to order I was severely torn. On one hand there was my ravenous hunger. On the other hand there was my fervent disdain for CANCER, along with the value I place on my stomach, intestines, liver, spleen, gall bladder, circulatory system, heart, skin, endocrine system, brain and therefore, my existence. So I did what any normal citizen with common sense would do: I asked the lady behind the counter for nutrition information.
You would think I had twenty sticks of dynamite strapped to my chest and I just ordered the cashier to empty the register.
All the Knifing Forcefully at your Colon employees stopped working to stare at the insane- earth-loving-hippie-disguised-as-the-rocker-dude standing at the register (that’s me, in case you were not clear on this). My bandmates gawked at me. The people in line behind me grunted and sighed. Then, the cashier let out a groan and disappeared into a closet. Seconds turned to minutes. I heard metal clanging, loud crashing, large cooking appliances being overturned. I heard live chickens squawking and lots and lots of cursing.
Nine minutes later the girl emerged, clothing torn and tattered, hair looking Doc Brown-esque, panting, handing me a dusty, discolored document that looked more like a pirate treasure map than a nutrition pamphlet.
I tried my best to show gratitude, despite the fact that I had already been labeled a terrorist by everyone in the place.
Then I began to study the list. Did you know one KFC Extra Crispy chicken breast contains 510 calories, 33 grams of fat (7g saturated), and over 1000 grams of sodium? That’s ONE piece. In fact, there was very little on the list that I could have eaten in good conscience, let alone without the resulting stomach cramps that would certainly follow.
I decided on one grilled chicken wrap, while my other band members gorged on multi-course meals with calorie counts in the multiple thousands.
And I left Knifing Forcefully at your Colon still hungry…
I didn’t always care about what I put into my body. Like most Americans, I followed the crowd in my food selection for most of my life. I basically ate and drank whatever I felt like (or whatever looked tasty at the time).
But then I met my wife, who has a very serious intestinal disorder called Celiac Disease. This changed everything. And I am very thankful it did.
Celiac Disease is an intolerance to gluten, which is a preservative/thickening agent that is used in 99% of the food we eat. It is found in almost every form of processed food and in almost every dish served in restaurants. If my wife eats food that contains gluten she becomes very ill, and for several days. Therefore, she can no longer eat processed foods, fast food, or most food at regular grocery stores. Basically, she is reduced to eating foods in their natural state, or cooking every meal at home to control the ingredients. She has also begun grocery shopping solely at health food stores for gluten-free food options and organic produce.
Because I am a supportive/awesome husband, I too have adopted this lifestyle. And every aspect of my health has improved drastically.
When you start investigating what goes into the food we consume in this country, it is like pulling a thread on a sweater. Only, when you pull it, not only does the sweater unravel, but it reveals that the guy wearing said sweater is not a human at all; Underneath is a zombie corpse of maggots and worms, kind of like Oogie Boogie in A Nightmare before Christmas.
Believe me, I have ALWAYS been the guy that makes fun of the vegan/organic/earth/ hippie people that work at Whole Foods. I have since become like them in many ways, simply by doing objective research about food. And I definitely don’t mean to preach here, because I know how important food is to all of us and I know how annoying the earth agenda can be sometimes. But I can’t ignore some of the facts I have learned as late:
*Europe has banned ALL beef imports from the US due to our unhealthy practices including antibiotic use. 28 million pounds of antibiotics are used on livestock each year. One of the antibiotics used contains significant amounts of the most carcinogenic form of arsenic. Daily exposure to low doses of arsenic can cause cancer, dementia, neurological problems, and other ailments in humans.
*According to the Archives of Internal Medicine, If you drink two or more carbonated soft drinks and/or sugary “fruit” drinks a day, your chance of developing type 2 diabetes goes up 25-30%. In the past 10 years, soft drink consumption among children has almost doubled in the United States. Teenage boys now drink, on average, three or more cans of soda per day. Teenage girls consume more than two cans a day.
*Studies have shown the link between refined sugar and/or high fructose corn syrup and a plethora of different cancers. In fact, all cancers actually feed on refined/white sugar!
* Some children with autism who adhere to a gluten-free/casein free diet show a significant decrease in symptoms.
*The National Cancer Institute states that 35% of all cancer cases have a nutritional connection.
*Diabetes now affects over 18 million adults. Poor diet and obesity are two known causes of this ailment, which now claims the lives of four million people per year.
*Most of us know by now that there are serious health risks to being overweight and obese, which for many people is a result of poor nutrition. These risks include heart disease, liver disease, stroke, arthritis, and many others.
*Thyroid disorders and other autoimmune dysfunction has been linked to gluten consumption, along with neurological disorders such as Parkinson’s Disease.
*The “anti-cancer daily diet” can actually help prevent hormone-dependant cancers such as breast, ovary, uterine, and prostate. This diet includes foods rich in antioxidants, fiber and isoflavones. Examples include fresh blueberries, tomatoes, garlic, carrots, broccoli and onions.
And that is, literally, just the tip of the iceberg…
It seems that old adage is true…you really ARE what you EAT. The things we put into our bodies have a huge bearing on the length and quality of our lives. There is no way around this.
And the most healthy way to consume food is in the natural state that God made it. Organic. Hormone, preservative, and pesticide free. Raw, if possible. Isn’t that interesting?
Now, I am the type of person who likes to get to the core of things and look at the big picture. And for that reason, I will tell you that this blog isn’t really about telling you what you should or shouldn’t be eating.
The fact is, our consumer, capitalistic culture has birthed a specific mindset in all of us toward food: taste, convenience, and shelf-life are more important than nutritional value. But the tradeoff is our very health. What tastes great in our mouths is very sour in our stomachs, quite literally.
God didn’t create food for our tastebuds, first and foremost. Just like he didn’t create sex just to feel good. He created it for nourishment and energy. We have distorted the very function of it in the name of big business and convenience.
The Bible tells us that everything in the world is in a state of decay because of sin. Every living thing dies. Even our plants–the peppers in our gardens and the apples on our trees–bear the thumbprint of this decay. Fresh fruit will only stay fresh for a few days as it sits waiting to be eaten on our countertops. Produce will only last about a week in our refrigerators before it must be eaten or discarded.
So, mankind tries to find a way to preserve the life of food, just like he tries to delay mortality through medical technology and other types of invention. But the more we try to escape death and decay, the more we kill ourselves in the process.
There really is no way to preserve life, save one. Death is certain because of sin, unless you believe in Christ.
Then, and only then, can we live forever.
Isn’t it amazing that even a discussion of food can lead us back to the cross? I believe everything in this world will lead us back to that one, ultimate act of love if we are willing to dig deep enough…
Incidentally, on this tour I have been saving tons of cash by avoiding fast food and snack stops. I can count the times I have eaten at these places on one hand. Instead, I stocked up on some great organic foods from my local health food store before I left town. I have a stockpile of Larabars, dried organic fruits, organic trail mix, and nuts. I have eaten a bit less, but it also means I am avoiding the dreaded tour gut. And lo and behold–I feel like a different human being! I actually have energy, my brain works, and I am not a Grinch to be around…
So call me a hippie. I don’t mind.
For added reading:
www.cspinet.org/reports/chemcuisine.htm
www.foodincmovie.com
www.doctoroz.com
www.sustainabletable.org/issues/hormones/
http://www.goveg.com/contamination.asp
thyroid.about.com/cs/latestresearch/a/celiac.htm
www.celiac.com
March 13, 2010 · Other · 36 Comments
First off, it’s been a little while since I posted, so for that I apologize. Second, forgive a musician for addressing a music topic. This is one blog where the responses are more important than the blog itself, so please respond below…
So, this may be a bit of a trite topic, but something tells me it cannot be spoken of enough, especially right here, right now. As someone who has been a part of this industry for some time, I have watched the evolution ofâ€?pretty much everything that has to do with music in the last few years. And one thing I am noticing is that not only are things changing and changing fast, but they are changing at a faster rate. And never has there been such opposing poles in the music industry. On one side, there are fans–consumers–who have benefitted so much from recent trends. And by “benefitsâ€? I mean with the digital medium becoming more and more prominent, music listeners have increasingly cheaper and easier access to whatever music they want, whenever they want. It seems like there is nothing but upside on the surface in the current context of iTunes, MyZune, Torrents etc.
You really can get music nowadays for next to nothing, and basically as much as you want. And we have so many cool toys these days to play it on!
On the other side of the fence is the industry itself-the labels, the press, the producers, the publishers, the distributers, the radio stations, and of course, the bands. And everyone on that side of the fence has been whistling a different tune for quite some time. As music becomes cheaper, and as attention spans shorten with the accessibility to music, less and less revenue flows through the industry. This means less and less resources for developing new bands, for keeping bands afloat, and for keeping jobs in the industry. Plainly put, the whole thing is shrinking massively in a very short period of time, and it is becoming harder and hard for bands to do this for a living. It is becoming harder and harder for labels to sell music. And labels are executing worse and worse record deals for bands.
People are finding it harder and harder to be a part of this beautiful medium because there just isn’t enough resources to make it possible.
I myself am torn over the issue. On one side, I think this “implosion” (which will continue to feed on itself) will result in a desaturation of everything (less bands = a higher percentage of good bands, and FINALLY METALCORE/SCREAMO/CHUG/SQUEEL/BLASTBEAT/COOKIE MONSTER SCREAM/MONOTONE-SAME-NOTE-AS-EVERY-OTHER-BAND-CHORUS WILL END). I also love getting music at a cheap price as a consumer. But I also love packaging. I love holding artwork in my hands and reading lyrics. And it saddens me that physical albums are “slowly going the way of the buffalo?” And finally, I do this thing for a living, and all of this threatens the industry that feeds me and gives me life in my day.
I was having a conversation about this very topic with some friends recently at Maggiano’s in Costa Mesa (A great Italian restaurant at South Coast Plaza in SoCal), and here are the questions that popped up in my head, ones to answer in your responses:
How many of you really care that physical albums will be a thing of the past someday soon? Does it even matter to you?
How many of you support the artists you love by going to shows, buying CDs, merchandise, etc.? Do you realize the impact and influence you have by your support?
How many of you aspire to work in the music industry in some form? Do you realize how significant these trends are and how they affect your future?
Do you realize that if you start a band NOW, or have started a band recently, your chances of meeting death from starvation and poverty are VERY HIGH?
Now, more than ever before, the power is directly in the hands of YOU. Music is a powerful force, and I for one do not want to see it go away in any way, shape, or form. I want to always have the opportunity to find new bands as a music fan, to be inspired by new songs. I want to do my part to inspire and to keep this medium alive and thriving. And I really want to know what all you think about all this.
Do you care?
March 12, 2010 · Music · 32 Comments
I read something the other day that had more than a small impact on me.
It said simply, resentment is the assassin of the soul.
I didn’t agree initially. I reasoned that every single one of us has people we have a hard time forgiving. And most of us have enemies, or at least people we view as threats. I think we have all heard the scriptures about loving your enemies and turning the other cheek, but when it comes down to living this way, it just seems…impossible.
To be honest, I have glossed over these verses for years.
It never occurred to me that forgiveness is not just for the person who has committed the wrong.
I read this on an airplane (Why is it I have my clearest thoughts on planes? Does this happen to you too?), and the flight was long so I had plenty of time to contemplate it. Is resentment destroying me from the inside out? Is my anger towards others–my feelings of being cheated or ripped off–dictating my decisions, feeding on my heart? Had I been damaged by something so subtly throughout my days that I had not even been slightly aware of it?
I decided to begin taking an inventory. I started thinking about people who had wronged me over the years. I started focusing on events, replaying them in my mind. I reflected on how I felt about these events and people and relationships. And something strange began to happen.
I began to realize that although I don’t walk around screaming in anger at strangers (well, at least when it isn’t planned for the sake of a show onstage), I am harboring much more bitterness than I realized. There are many people I have not forgiven for what they have done to me. And I have made many a decision out of anger, out of wounded-ness, than I previously had been willing to admit to myself. I pictured the people who had wronged me and the resentment swelled, fresh.
In fact, I realized that this parasite had, in fact, been living in me. And it had been thriving.
But this was just the tip of the iceberg. It turned out I had been carrying weight of titanic proportions.
I started then to think about all the people I had wronged over the years. The list was long. Longer than I would be willing to admit in casual conversation. I began making a list of events and people again. And many of them were people I hadn’t seen in years. It was scary. And I began to feel sick at the thought that there were people out there who just might, when they recall me, have a fresh surge of strong negative emotion as well.
I was feeling very sick.
But maybe that was the answer…
To be honest, since I became I believer I have never really understood forgiveness. I have never really known how to do it or how to receive it. Maybe you are like me and you have a hard time with this concept as well. Oh, I say I forgive people when they ask for it. and I say I forgive myself when I make mistakes. And I say I have received forgiveness from God many times. But when I say those things there has been little heart behind it, little emotion. It’s like I am just reciting scripted lines.
Then it hit me: I feel sick because I am sick. I feel sick because I am sick.
I am carrying around with me a disease. A real, true, living spiritual disease. And every time I act out in selfishness against someone else I am manifesting this disease. We refuse to accept this most of the time. It isn’t until we realize there are people out there who are angry with us for what we have done to them that we begin to realize who we really are. There is something sobering about realizing you have transacted sin. That you have altered someone else’s life through your actions in a negative way. And all you want in the whole world is to know that person forgives you.
I have a disease, an addiction. It is sin. Selfishness. The opposite of love. And I need forgiveness to live, to move forward, to not rot away inside little by little.
I thought about my sickness more. I began a new, slow journey with my creator. A trip to the center of my being, to get to the core of who I am, so that heaven can have its way with me. And in order for Him to have his way with me I had to let him into the deepest places. And my core is ugly.
I thought further. I realized that I am not the only one who is sick. In fact, every person who had ever wronged me was sick too. Maybe they weren’t totally aware of it. Maybe they were completely unaware. But every act of evil perpetrated against me was an acting out of sickness.
And I began to understand forgiveness, for the first time.
When someone hurts us, we want to blame them, we want to hold onto what they have done to us. We want to make them pay. But ultimately, they are just acting out the wounds that they have been inflicted with, just like we do. They are acting out their pain, their disease. Their genetic predisposition toward selfishness, triggered by other people harming them.
When you see that the playing field is even, it makes it a lot easier to forgive others. And a lot easier to ask and receive forgiveness ourselves. Only then will we stop acting out of our disease and begin acting out of love. And when you realize you, yourself have guilt over the things you have done, the need for forgiveness takes on a whole new meaning.
I need forgiveness to truly live.
Try this exercise when you have some time alone. See what you uncover. I am not promising everything will be perfect immediately, but you will feel the weight lift, little by little.
March 12, 2010 · Spiritual Living · 5 Comments
I need a new jacket. It’s freezing outside and I am shivering. So I head out to Urban Outfitters to see if I can find a good one. I walk into the store. Scene kids and style demagogues abound. I find the men’s section and begin to try on the jackets. I ask myself, Which one defines me? Which one will fit me like a glove? Which one will send the message to the world I am looking for about myself? I move from jacket to jacket, but none seem to fit quite right. Should I settle for one that does not define me perfectly, one that does not enhance my persona in direct proportion to my dollars spent?
Then, a familiar voice interrupts my search.
“Hey man, long time, no see!” the voice says to me.
It’s a friend from my former church, one I haven’t seen in nearly a decade. This is the same church I left when a majority of the leadership fell into various forms of scandal.
“Hey man! What’s up?” I exclaim. I am genuinely excited to see this long-lost face.
“What have you been up to lately?” He asks me.
“Lots of travel, writing, music, etc. The usual. You?”
“Working, spending time with family.”
“Great man, it’s so good to see you. Have you been going to church?”
“You know, I have really had a hard time finding one that fits me. I was going to Blahblahwhatshisface’s church for awhile but the pastor kind of bored me. And the worship director got fired for some shady activity. The new worship is kind of lame, now. I don’t know. I try to get plugged into places but it just doesn’t ever feel quite right to me. Do you know what I mean?”
“I definitely know what you mean…” I respond.
We say our goodbyes, and I go back to shopping for the jacket that will define me completely as a 21st century human male, pondering the conversation I just had. But I don’t find the perfect jacket, and I end up shivering outside on the walk back to my car.
I can’t help noticing the parallels between my search for a jacket and my never-ending, frustrating hunt for a church which will meet my spiritual needs; I usually end up feeling left out in the cold.
I can’t tell you how many times I speak with people who say they cannot find a place of fellowship, or say that they just left their old congregation for one reason or another, or say they are fed up with not being able “plug in” somewhere. And as the disappointments mount so does our disillusionment….
I left the church I was attending because the I didn’t like the pastor’s teaching style.
I left the church because the worship was lame.
I left the church because I couldn’t connect with people.
Still others hop and jump, trying on a different sanctuary every single week, only to find that each and every one is, sadly, far from what they are looking for. The numbers are staggering–thousands and thousands of believers in evangelical culture without a place they can call home, admitting that most weeks they would rather stay home for NFL football than attend a service that is…less than inspiring. But no matter the individual reason, at the core of our qualms with local churches is the same basic concern: we cannot seem to find a place that meets our individual “needs.” We cannot seem to find a place that offers genuine relationships with true brothers and sisters, while offering solid teaching, worship, and a children’s ministry.
Why is it so hard to find a home? Why do churches so often let us down?
There are answers to these questions, my friend. And I promise you the “right church for you” is right around the corner. It just isn’t going to look the way you think it will…
To better understand our difficulty in connecting with a particular congregation, we have to first understand the identity problems that the church, as a whole, is facing today (and by the church “as a whole” I mean the body of believers spread throughout the world, and in particular, western culture). And by identity crisis I mean this: There is more division between individual churches in the same denomination than perhaps any other point in history. Why?
Competition.
Fail to compete, and completely fail.
It’s simple capitalism, and it is the basis for our very existence in America. Supply and demand. A citizenry of purchasers and entrepreneurs and consumable goods is what dominates our lives in this country. We are consumers first, believers second. At least, that is the trend in general culture, along with christian culture as well. We lead lives that are fully customizable, from our twelve-pump, nonfat, no-foam, single-shot of sugar-free caramel lattes to our I-pod/DVD enhanced, four-screened, anti-lock braked, automated lumbar control, Saturn, Scion SUVs. We click a button and music plays, movies play, groceries are delivered to our doors. Church is too much like…work. And the thought of having to settle for one that doesn’t completely “fit” us? Ridiculous.
Stick with me here. There’s more.
So, as churches compete for the allegiance of an attention-deficited culture, we become programmed to treat fellowship like every other part of their lives: as fully customizable. And plainly put, most evangelical churches are about attracting people above all else. This means in order to be successful they have to be attractive. And they function more like a big business machine than an organic family. And the “successful” churches have gotten it down to a science: Here’s how:
1. Have a celebrity pastor who steers the ship. He must be a charismatic figure, yet possess the every-man quality. He must be a great speaker who entertains as well as he teaches. Me must be adept at the skill of storytelling, and must have some comedic skills. He must embody the face of a hero in some form.
2. Big-production, with contemporary, classic-rock influenced worship. This should also include a charismatic “frontman” for the band. If attendees do not desire to take part in worship, they can at least absorb some quality entertainment.
3. Catchy marketing, slogans, signs, decoration, and logos are a must! This includes everything from the decor in the lobby to the graphics on the bulletin.
4. The occasional Christian celebrity author/musician as a guest performer should become a monthly staple. This will attract “newcomers,” which are really just believers who might have gone somewhere else to church that Sunday.
5. A ministry for every demographic. Men’s group. Singles. Women’s group. College. High School. Junior high. Elementary. Pre-school. Bikers. Jocks. Dweebs. Burnouts. Cheerleaders. Or am I talking about the movie The Breakfast Club?
6. A youth program complete with a youth room that has fifteen thousand TV monitors and thirty-eight XBOX 360s, and a sound system that would raise Elvis. Must have a catchy name for the group like “The Happening” (yes, based on the movie!) or “The Haven” or “The Underground” (oooh…subversive!).
7. Varied services for individual taste. We have the rock worship service. We have traditional worship night. We have screamo worship Saturdays. We have no worship Thursdays. We have in-depth study
10 A.M. in the parking lot. We have the short message service for those with Restless Leg Syndrome. And don’t forget the 20-minute workout service, where everything just plays on a screen at double-speed. Twice the spiritual workout in half the time!
8. Hype your own church as the “place to be.” Subtly point out through media, announcements, and other outlets of communication that although people had many choices for church that Sunday they chose the “best” one. Make sure to hype your church as being on the forefront of Christian activity in your area.
And on and on and on. Why not just have a long list of check boxes on a computer screen for every person that walks through the door on Sunday, where every person fills out a survey, then the computer spits out a list of recommended activities, services, etc. Or maybe can just gives you a page that says in black block letters “YOU JUST WON’T FIT HERE, TRY THE CHURCH UP THE STREET.”
Now, I keed, I keed. But only a little. I know none of these “attraction elements” are inherently wrong in and of themselves, and most of them are inherently right for the most part. But I can’t help feeling the irony in the fact that as evangelical culture tries harder and harder to meet the individual needs of every consumer/believer possible, that most of us feel less and less like we are attending the gathering of the body of believers and more that we are attending a movie or a broadway show or a concert–perhaps all three rolled into one. Instead of bringing us together as a body, it feels like we are being pulled apart. We show up, put in our time, and leave with a seven-point list of things God wants to do for us this week. Then we drive home and forget about the whole thing. Or post it on the fridge. Or leave it in a heap of papers to gain dust. And though there are so many great people at church it is so difficult amidst all this to actually just make friends and develop real relationships.
All we really want is to have true connection with a group of believers. True fellowship. That is the purpose of church.
Now, I have a question or two of my own here:
What if the way to for a church to “meet our needs” was to go against the cultural trends of consumerism and competition?
What if we, as young churchgoers, are shopping, looking for all the wrong things for all the wrong reasons?
These are questions that are being asked not only by people like you and I, but prominent voices in the church as well. I was able to catch up with Mike Erre, speaking pastor of Rock Harbor Church in Costa Mesa, CA, and Ken Baugh, head pastor of Coast Hills Church in Aliso Viejo, CA recently. Both teach to a congregation numbering in the multi-thousands, whose demographics include a large percentage of young adults. Erre states the following regarding these issues:
“We have reduced the church to one, hour-and-a-half event per week; we have reduced the gospel to cater to felt needs and personal preferences; and we have reduced discipleship to optional private spiritual exercises…We are raised with so many options we are paralyzed by the possibility of something better…God/church simply gets added to the list of things we consume…the problem is that much of the ‘attractional’ church has fostered this understanding by catering to it…”
It’s comforting to know that some in places of higher leadership are acknowledging that these are big problems for each of us; without connection to a body, a group of communal support, our faith will be choked-off. The Christian faith is not a faith built for an isolated, loosely-connected network of introverts. We HAVE to be plugged in or we will die spiritually. So, talk of the acknowledgment of the dilemma is one thing. What is the church willing to do about it? Baugh has an interesting answer:
“I think that Sr. Leadership needs to continually make sure that young adults are allowed significant roles of responsibilities in the church. It’s interesting to me that in the United States military you will find young men and women put in charge of brigades and multimillion dollar equipment, yet rarely in our churches will you find them even allowed to do much more than help out with students or children ministries. I don’t think that young adults should serve as Elders because elders are called elders for a reason (they are old) but I do think we need to give them more and more responsibilities in key areas of decision-making and ministry.”
There is little doubt that by keeping young people on the sidelines and reducing them to observers of the spectacle that is a church entertainment service will do little to foster lasting, passionate disciples. Christ was not a teacher of the masses first and foremost. He was a healer and a disciple-maker, and a person who connected twelve individuals who became best friends. It is the church’s responsibility not only to teach, but to empower us to use our gifts–and provide the opportunities to do so as well.
But finding those opportunities–which are everywhere if we’ll look–is a responsibility that falls on us as individuals.
Baugh had this to say as well:
“I think the whole mindset of finding a church to ‘meet my needs’ is flawed. As believers, we are to be part of a local body of Christ to serve, fellowship, grow, and give to the ongoing work of the Great Commission. I think the question should be: ‘Where can I best become involved in a Bible teaching church where I can use my gifts and become part of a community that loves God and serves others?’”
Evangelical churches must understand that making the church relevant through trying to “meet people where they are” is a valid philosophy to attract numbers. But, it is a flawed approach when numbers become the end in and of itself. Relationships should take precedence over the spectacle. And Christians should not be viewed as marketing targets who are to be stolen from other congregations. And finally, churches must stop viewing other ministries as rivals. In short, tone down the bright lights, and turn up the message. Do anything and everything to put emphasis on community, rather than entertainment, rather than your particular church.
But we as individual “church shoppers” must realize there are problems with every single church. Let me repeat that: there are problems with every single church. There are lame people in every one. There is gossip in every one. There are weird, awkward people in every one. Pastors are going to screw up, the music might suck, and the greeter at the door might turn her nose up at you when you enter. When these things happen, remember that none of those things matter. Do not be distracted by these things. People are always going to be flawed. That’s why they need Christ. And you know what? You are there to bring more of Him to that place. You are there to give of yourself, to humble yourself, to make relationships with people you might not normally associate with for the sake of something greater than you.
Offer to apply for leadership. Offer to help with a mission trip. Go feed homeless people. If you go with intent to give of yourself in any and every way possible, I promise the sucky worship leader or the yawner sermons will not matter.
If we walk actively and raise our voices, we will connect. If we sit passively, expecting to be catered to, we will be left in the cold.
March 12, 2010 · Other, Spiritual Living · 10 Comments
I have decided to contribute to the ongoing cultural debate that has spanned centuries and will probably never cease. The debate is over the answer to this question:
What makes a real man?
I think the answer is more simple than one would imagine, and I am more than thrilled to tell you I have discovered it. But before I reveal this groundbreaking, earth-shattering breakthrough, I want begin looking at the answer to the question by asking a few of my own.
First, is a man made by his courage?
You know, that whole “This is Sparta” thing. Some would say so. Many, in fact. I, for one, think courage is overrated. Consider the apostle Peter. If he hadn’t been such a coward he never would have been such a shining example of restoration. And I think Peter was quite a man…fisherman, ear-cutter-offer, etc. I don’t really think any man has courage when it comes down to it. Don’t believe me? Put any husband in a situation where he is being called out by his wife for (fill in the blank…forgetting to take out the trash, glancing at the TV during a Victoria’s Secret ad) and watch him squirm like a sniveling, pathetic six-year-old.
Then, is a man defined by his strength?
But what is strength? Being chiseled and yoked? Or is it an inner thing–like doing the right thing in a situation when it is difficult to do so? I saw this girl at the gym doing squats the other day and I think she had like thirteen huge plates on each side of the weight bar. I looked at her upper legs and realized you could fit three of my entire body in one of them. I used the mirrors in the gym for several minutes to get a view of this person from every angle and I did indeed confirm that she was female. I then feared for my life, because I think she caught me doing this “research.” I exited to the “men’s locker room” ironically enough. No, muscles do not make the man. Inner strength, then? It does take inner strength to be an adult male. Like when I am at a stoplight and the person behind me honks and instead of hitting the gas I stay on the brakes until the light turns yellow, then watch the guy’s expression as he has to wait for the next green at the light behind me as I zoom through the intersection. It takes great inner strength to have discipline to do that. It also takes great strength to find your way to your destination when you are lost without asking a single solitary human soul, just to show your female companion that no, you are not lost, but taking a “short cut.”
What about honor?
To me, this is synonymous with integrity. It means being the same person in public as in private. I look at Peter Parker and Clark Kent as my shining examples of this concept. If these guys didn’t have skeletons they wouldn’t be super heroes. Not that I am saying leading a double life is good. It isn’t. But every guy has secrets. That’s why we need a cave. Not all secrets are bad by the way. But whose business is it really that my #1 favorite cavetime activity is playing World of Warcraft. I am now going to go ahead and equip my “Epic Axe. “ And a little “Four Wheels of Fury.”
What about intelligence?
Have you ever seen Sixteen Candles? Of course you have. You know John Cusack’s sidekick, Wheeze? Boy was he smart. Though most would not consider him A man I would consider him THE man simply because he is my favorite John Hughes character and his name is WHEEZE. That is the most bitchin’’ name ever.
Is a man defined by the size of his truck tires?
Um…no. He is not. Chances are the guy with the big truck also was also the guy in elementary school that promised you a knuckle sandwich if you did not hand over your Snack Pack. But then again I am probably being judgmental. You may have a big truck and be a swell guy. But maybe, just maybe, you are overcompensating for something. Or maybe you just enjoy making others plummet nine feet to the ground as they exit your vehicle, thus causing severe injury. I, for one, drive a small shifter car and can still beat you up very badly, big truck guy.
So what about conquests? Surely a man is a man when he boasts of successful heists while carrying on his back the carcass of dead creatures slain by his own hand while dragging his maiden behind him home to roast his hunting prize.
My dad will have my hide for saying this because he raised me to be a hunter. For some reason when I was twelve years old (sitting in the woods in subzero temperatures staring down the scope of my high powered rifle at that fuzzy, defenseless deer that I could have very easily taken home as a pet) hunting was not my idea of a good time. Killing cute, cuddly things, whether in actuality or metaphorically in reference to locker room talk, does not strike me in any way to be representative of true maledom. Yes, I still shot the deer. And I retired from the sport shortly after I dragged the steaming carcass out of the woods and bragged to all my friends about it.
OK, so, none of the above makes a real man, in my opinion.
So what does?
I am now going to tell you, and you are going to be shocked at how much this makes sense.
IF YOU CRY FOR GREAT MOMENTS IN SPORTS YOU ARE A REAL MAN.
That’s it.
That is, if you cry ONLY for great moments in sports. In any other situation, though, you have to possess the emotional vulnerability of petrified forest to be a true representative of the male species. You cannot even feel the tiniest tug on your heart for anything else. This includes tender moments with females, your children, or Rachel McAdams films. You cannot show the faintest glint of breaking character even when songs like “Wild Horses” (by the Sundays not the Stones) are played around you. There is no reason to shed a tear in any–and I mean any–of life’s circumstances. Except one:
And here is the litmus test. I want you to watch the following three things. If you cry after these you are male. If you do not, you are female:
1. Go to Youtube and type in “Autistic Basketball Player.”
2. Watch any Michael Jordan DVD
3. Find a replay of the 1987 college football game between Boston College and Miami when Doug Flutie threw a touchdown pass to Gerard Phelan with no time on the clock to win the game. I saw this live on Tv when I was just a kid and I swear it changed my life.
I would also like to add that when I found out James Harrison was voted team MVP of the Steelers this past year I was brought to tears. The guy is 29 years old and was never given the opportunity to start before this past season. He was cut from like four different NFL teams and is only 5’ 10” tall–tiny for a linebacker. He has been told he was too slow and too small his entire career. Yet, he had 3.5 sacks, 3 forced fumbles, one interception, and one recovered fumble against the Baltimore Ravens IN ONE GAME ALONE. And his nickname is “Silverback” (like the gorilla).
Talk about a man.
March 12, 2010 · Other, Pop Culture, Sports · 5 Comments
My stomach is empty, as is my fridge. It is very much time to make a trip to the grocery store. I grab my wife, wallet, and keys, and fly out the front door.
Minutes later, ravenous, I am scouring the aisles of Vons, piling sustenance into my cart, going for it. I have breads, cereals, meats, cheeses, puddings, pastas, frozen burritos, and produce. Kozy Shack, Life, Prego, Tillamook. Never grocery shop when you are hungry. Your savings will disappear at the checkout stand.
With a full cart (and then some) my wife and I exit the store. I am almost sprinting, ready to tear open a bag of Kettle Chips for the car ride home.
We frolic to the car and unload our groceries, caught up in the excitement of our forthcoming gluttonous feast. Then, we hop in and speed out of the parking lot. As we approach the first stoplight, we look to our left and notice a woman sitting on the median.
She is perched on an overturned shopping cart. She is dressed in tattered, mismatched clothing. Next to her is another cart filled with empty soda cans and plastic water bottles. Amidst the recyclables are several bags of belongings–socks, shirts, and small household items. Her face is sullen and vacant. She does not speak, but only looks up at us through weathered, distant eyes. The woman holds a sign:
Homeless. Need Help. God Bless.
The first wave of thought that comes over me is guilt: Here I am raiding Vons like a sultan and not thinking twice about it, yet this person doesn’t even have a roof over their head.
Then another thought enters my mind: What if this person is running a scam? What if she is just lazy or is an addict or has made decisions to put herself in this position? Without a doubt, there are those out there who would take advantage of a situation like this, using homelessness as a means to rip people off…
On the one hand, we know we are called to help the homeless, to give to those who are in need. Jesus was pretty clear on this. Nothing we have is our own. And everything we have been given is simply a tool to bless others, right?
But, how do we know what a homeless person is going to do with what we give them? After all, people become homeless for many different reasons. We all know the stories about the drug addicts, the drunks, and the criminals. But there are also those who, through no fault of their own, have run into economic problems–and the sad reality is that there are so many more people in this situation because of our economy. We know that some are homeless because they have chosen to be, because they refuse to get a job, or because they refuse to get help for their addictions. But there are also those who are the victims of mental illness, who cannot possibly change their position in life without outside help. There are scammers–people who do not get work because they are able to raise generous amounts of cash running street hustles. But there are also many, hard-working people out there who have been laid off and who are trying with all their might to find work for themselves…
I look at my wife, and I know that she is going through a similar debate inside of her. Is this a calculated attempt to capitalize on our guilt or a sincerely hurting person who desperately needs our assistance?
The light is about to turn green, and we have to make a quick decision.
We decide to keep our window rolled up and just head home.
During our ride, we deliberate over the situation, and it is a depth-filled conversation that lasts the rest of the evening.
I feel a vague sense of remorse for not giving anything to the woman. But then again, I recall times when I have been in similar situations, given the person some cash, then second guessed myself afterward.
What is the right thing to do?
These are legitimate questions, because in these times our hard-earned income does not last as long or go as far as it used to. The last thing we want to be doing is giving our money away to someone who is just going to buy alcohol or drugs or find a way to avoid finding work. Yet, we want to do what is right at the same time.
Look, I know that in many cases, giving food is a better alternative than giving money. But what if you are running late for an appointment, or you are at a stoplight?
Truth be told, many of us have a preconceived opinion of homeless people. We fear them, just as we distrust their motives. And we use this as an excuse–a justification–as to why we don’t do more for those in need around us.
But here is the burning question–does God want us to give without judging the ones we are giving to? If you are stopped at a light and someone passes you with a sign asking for change, is it better to give it to them, knowing they may use it for wrong, or is it better to just look the other way?
I took this situation as an opportunity to look in the mirror. Am I doing anything at all in my life to help those in need around me, in my immediate communities? If the answer is no, do I have an excuse?
It’s the holiday season, so naturally it is a time for thanks, a time for reminding ourselves how blessed we are. And it is also a time to give to others who are in need. But this year, why not take it one step further, and examine our motives as well as our understanding of the heart of Jesus? Why not take these questions as an opportunity to look, once again, at the stories we have in our Holy Book about’ Jesus’ interaction with the needy?
March 12, 2010 · Spiritual Living · 2 Comments
I did a search on Google today and typed in the phrase “God told me.” Here is what I got for the search results. This is not for the squeamish.
*An article about a murder suspect who may have killed his 5-year-old son because “god told him” to save him from the Antichrist.
*A story about a man in the eighteenth-century who “god told” to start a new religion based on the teaching of Jesus, transcribed from Egyptian hieroglyphics which would reveal another testament of Jesus Christ for America.
*A blog response to a confused and upset woman seeking advice regarding a weird man who approached her at church and said, “god told me you are my future wife.”
*A post about Pat Robertson (shocker!) claiming that God told him there would be a terrorist attack on US soil sometime in 2007 that would result in mass killing.
*An article about pastor from Texas whom god allegedly told to paddle-yes, I said paddle-eight adult women.
*A story about man from New Zealand who told authorities upon being captured that god told him to behead two women and shoot a man.
*An ironic bumper sticker/button for sale which simply reads “god told me to hate you.”
*An article about a man who stalked Jewel because “god told him to.”
There were many more, but these were the high(low) lights.
I learned a lot from this random search. In fact, it turned into a bit of an all-day study affair. And I found some good insight out there on the subject of God’s communication with us via prophetic words.
It’s no secret that there are countless numbers of people who are using God’s false endorsement as a means to manipulate people. But there are also many people who have had experiences with fulfilled prophetic words, and still others who are wrestling with a particular circumstance where they are awaiting for a word of direction from above.
But how do we know where God’s voice stops and our own voices begin?
As Christians, communication with (and from) God is definitely a part of our daily lives. But there is a big difference between feeling like God is moving you in a particular direction and claiming he is telling you something audibly.
For starters, here are some thoughts regarding this issue, from J. Michael Feazell, D. Min Azusa Pacific University:
1. When God spoke to people in the Bible, there was no question that it was a message from God. It usually was delivered in person by an angel, and it usually scared the chicken gravy out of the recipient of the message.
2. When God had to tell people what he wanted them to do, it was usually something they did not want to do.
3. Sometimes, our prayers for God’s blessing are really our prayers to get our own way despite what God thinks…
4. God is pretty clear about what he “tells” us to do: “The entire law is summed up in a single command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ ” And for what it’s worth, we don’t have to go half way around the world to find our neighbors.
This are good general guidelines, but the Bible doesn’t tell us which path to take at each “fork” in the road of our lives. So this is where things get sketchy. In fact, It seems that most encounter “words” of this type; it is regarding life direction that we find the most prophetic activity in the church. Who am I supposed to marry? Where am I supposed to live? What am I supposed to do for a living?
Wouldn’t life be easy if God just opened the clouds and told us the answers to these questions every time we were stressed? But most times we don’t get an audible answer. Other times we receive the answer we want don’t want to hear, not through a “word” but through circumstances.
The fact is, we want to believe God is speaking many times when he isn’t. And our desire to hear Him speak allows us to be easily convinced by those who would use God to advance their own agendas. The next thing you know, a weird member of the opposite sex is coming up to you at church, claiming that you are “the one.” And it messes with our heads…Well, what if God is truly speaking?
When I think of someone who desperately needed an answer from God, I think of Paul. He had a mysterious thorn in his side, and he pleaded with heaven to take it away. What was the thorn? No one knows for sure. But what if it was loneliness? What if it was was fear? What if it was anxiety over a big decision? And what was God’s response? My Grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness.
Many times God doesn’t give us the clear responses we seek. Why? Because in the process of wrestling with the answers to our questions we become more like him. To God, the process is the outcome is the goal.
Consider these words from R.T. Kendall the next time you think God has spoken:
How do we misuse God’s name when we claim He told us something? With our intent. Most often we mention Him for one reason: to elevate our own credibility. It is not His name we are thinking of, it is our reputation. Adding the weight of God’s name to our words gives us authority and respectability. But the truth is, we’re not thinking of God’s name and glory when we do this—we’re thinking of our own.
Likewise, if I truly have a word from the Lord, I can say it without mentioning His holy name. It will speak for itself. And if people don’t recognize my authenticity because I don’t include God’s name, that is not my problem.
Or consider the words of Tim Miller:
One problem with any “God told me” statement is it becomes immediately divisive. Someone says that God told them that you’re not doing this or that right. Well, if you disagree then you are immediately placed in opposition to God; or at least that person’s view of what God’s will is.
The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 14 that prophecy is for the purpose of edification and instruction of the church, that it is to be orderly, subject to the group setting. If the “word” in question does not serve this purpose, and presented in the context of community, then be very, very careful. If there is division and confusion as the result of said “word” then the prognosis is probably not good. And if you are wondering about God’s will regarding a relationship, be patient. The answers will become clearer with time.
The conclusion I came to after reading about the topic (and considering the rash of false prophetic statements out there) is this: We should pray He gives us clear answers/direction for our lives. And if the answers are not clear, we should use our common sense, prayer, discernment, and good advice to make the best educated decision on a matter. Regardless of the outcome, God is most concerned about our character throughout any circumstance.
Now, let me say this, in conclusion: I do believe that God can speak to us. He can do anything He wants, of course. I just don’t think it’s nearly as often as people claim, as evidenced by all the misuse and failed prophetic claims.
If you feel like God is speaking something to you or through you, again, allow common sense/discernment to be our guide here: What do you lose when you hold back the phrase “God told me…” when sharing something that you are convinced is from above? Nothing. You lose nothing. Because if it is truly from God, the “thing” in question will happen anyway. What do you risk by saying “God told me…” when the clouds do not part, an angel does not appear, and you do not hear an audible voice (in other words, when all you are going on is a feeling)? A lot. You risk confusing other people. You risk embarrassing other people of faith. You risk looking foolish. Not to mention misrepresenting God himself, which, last time I checked, is bad.
And what if you think God may be speaking but you are not sure? Wait. Pray. Or try the honest approach and say, “I think God may be leading me in this direction. But I am testing it and continuing to get advice and counsel about it. I encourage you to do the same.” These are reasonable responses to your feeling or intuition which do not officially proclaim that God spoke.
And finally, what do you have to lose by questioning the person who is proclaiming “God told me…”? Nothing. Pray. Study. Get some good advice. You risk nothing when you use your God-given discernment and wait to see if the “thing” in question is really divinely inspired. There is no risk in questioning those who claim to have a word from God. The Bible tells us to test the spirits. And if the person in question has a problem with your doubt, chances are good that they are using God to manipulate you.
It seems to me the problem is not with the wackos who are running around claiming God said this and God said that. There will always be wolves and false prophets. The problem is with the people who believe them and who follow them.
Let’s push each other to question, test, and make educated decisions regarding these matters. That’s why prophecy is meant to be a communal exercise–so one man’s false or uninspired words cannot lead people astray.
We lose nothing by using discernment. And we just might avoid a lot of unnecessary pain…
March 12, 2010 · Spiritual Living · 4 Comments
